If you have ever met someone who repeatedly sabotaged their life or seemed to have a hard time moving forward, despite the best of intentions, it may be that they were dealing with unprocessed grief. Most people have never been taught to deal with grief and, as a result, are stuck dealing with confusing emotions, relationships that don’t work, and lives that feel like they’re going nowhere.
This relationship between facing grief and being able to move through it in a healthy way was discussed at length by Prince Harry in a recent podcast with Byron Gordon of Mad World. In the interview, Prince Harry addressed his personal struggle with dealing with the loss of his mother, grief he spent 20 years denying.
Raised in the spotlight, in a culture where keeping up appearances and holding it together are paramount, Prince Harry struggled through early adulthood and didn’t know why. A few very public drunken escapades and the expectation that feelings were not to be discussed led Harry to a very dark place. Some blamed it on traumatic experiences he’d had while serving in Afghanistan, but deep down Harry knew that wasn’t the cause.
His Rage Grew
His rage grew, and he had no outlet. Thankfully, he started talking – to family members and to a therapist. And things began to shift. He slowly realized that the public grieving he was forced to do as a child did not adequately release his intense emotions. He took up boxing to deal with his anger and started a non-profit organization to help others, passionate about spreading the word that grief should not be suppressed.
Prince Harry discovered that simple and honest conversation about death and grief were the key to healing. In doing so, he processed his feelings and moved on from the death of his mother in a healthy way. Now he enjoys helping others move through grief and other painful emotions by listening to their problems, a technique he says is sometimes all you need to face grief and gain clarity of mind about your feelings.
When a loved one dies, those left behind are stuck between the need to make important decisions quickly and the grief which immobilizes them in the face of those decisions. And grief sometimes leads to family conflicts which further retards the process. Prince Harry provides an example in dealing with the grief, but that takes time, and the decisions often cannot wait.
Ironically, the only person who could have prevented this chaotic state of affairs was the person who is now gone. Through creation of an estate plan, the loved one could have made all of the important decisions – for instance, who gets what under what terms and how are the final services to be handled – in advance, making the confusion among those who remain irrelevant. And freeing those people to deal with their grief without complication.
If you are ready to take that step toward making things as easy as possible for the people you love in the event of your incapacity or death, start by sitting down with me. As your Personal Family Lawyer®, I can walk you through creating an estate plan that will protect what you value most. I always begin with a Family Wealth Planning Session so you can get informed, educated and empowered to make the right choices for the people you love. Before the session, I’ll send you a Family Wealth Inventory and Assessment to complete that will get you thinking about what you own, what matters most, and how your affairs should be handled when you die.
I don’t just draft documents: I ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. You can begin by calling my office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session at no charge.